Feisty Lovebug.....

My camera (the big one) is in the hospital again and this time it is to fix the fungus problem I had for almost a year now. I am expected to wait for 3 weeks before its return and that only meas, it is back to the small one to take the responsibility of keeping me happy for the rest of the holidays till the other returns. Okay, this has nothing to do with the title so here is what this post is really supposed to be about. Felt like writing it so why not right? Suppose to let out my feelings once in a while before I explode form the inside out.

Something I found out during this break is that there is something very deep and dark that I can't let go. And yes, that is love. Love is suppose to be bright but yea, somehow it seems dark to me. Everytime you feel that you have let go, the feisty lovebug have to bite and confuse you a bit. And I guess most will know, this feeling will only go away when a stronger bug bites you.

Ever had that feeling that when you lost something, it is all a dream? Maybe not a dream but a nightmare you just want off but in fact, it is reality? This unwritten song keeps echoing in my head :"Wake me up from this nightmare, take me away from reality." And part of me also keeps yelling in my mind "Twas a mere dream, wake up and face reality."

I don't know.

I feel like those artists who faces a season of blues and blacks. Those emotional moments in life. They may look happy and cheery but deep inside, in their paintings, it is all blue and black. Paintings of despair and hurt. Of a heart so broken that it affects the mind and the soul within. Of a dream left shattered and un-mend-able. Whatever is going on in reality is just a fake smile and fake hopes. Even those happy things can't seem to cheer you up enough. Like, I did good for my studio but I just can't find the emotions to be happy about it.

I think I need to apologise to someone I misunderstood. Whoever you are, I guess you know I meant you. I understand how it feels now, the period of time you were facing. But I guess, all I can say now is "Oh well..."

And just hope the sun will shine a little bit brighter than today!

*SIGH*