Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Something about steel and fire...

"Be as hard as steel and as fierce as fire."
~I guess I have to keep reminding myself that in life, no matter what I have to be as strong and passionate about the things I do and how life is running in its pace.

But there is a negative side to all things positive. Be as hard as steel and as fierce as fire can also mean block everything else and become hot-headed in times of stress. Yes yes, I realize I become agitated easily when I am facing stress, so, change lo... Will be trying. Its coming to the end of yet another semester at Taylors. My Final Semester will be in August! My gosh... Time flies...

Well, honestly, recently I keep feeling my insides are on fire. Something is burning fiercely and I just can't figure what in the world it is. Is it anger? Happiness? I don't know, I just can't tell. Maybe I am just thinking too much. There are just too many things I need to resolve soon. Before I go completely insane with the thinking.. No ideas flowing through me now for studio. Nothing. And this is worrying me. My progress had an immediate break I didn't want to have at this time of the semester. Sometimes I just wish the emotions were not there. Emotions of not succeeding, of not reaching what I want to happen in the design.

Emotions to me is now like a raging fire. I don't need a wildfire spreading throughout my whole spirit at the moment. I need water to douse out the flames that burn within me. What I need now is to think of a way to calm my mind and my emotions till the level I can cope with and accelerate in my studio progress.

So what is this about steel?
I am insanely hooked to steel now. Why? Because my current design will be made of steel, metal that is. So I am now burying myself with books on steel structures, of how they join and so on.. Its so frustrating when I don't get the proportion of the columns right, or the propostions of the entire structure. Arghhh.......

But there is one thing about steel that I love at the moment. They are cold towards people who touches it. And honestly, I want that coldness. I want to be cold toward certain things that are bothering me. Being warm and friendly all the time can take its toll on someone.
"Be happy, Smile!'
*gets a gun out and shoot the happy birds*

Don't worry, I am not a sadistic. Its only blabbering of the moment. Want to get everything off my chest before continuing with work. Well, to end this so called blabber: "To the one who or what is bothering me at the moment, bug off. Shoo shoo." Have the urgency to scold the F word but I shall not pollute my blog. Unless it is a What makes me mad post that is. I figure I am going to write of those one of these days.

To the bad news to come in the next few weeks: "Cheers mate! Bring it on...."

On love matters, awwwwwww...... Freaking no time for you at the moment....

You can get a case of bullets and just shoot yourself. Oops. What am I saying. Peace and love peace and love..... Who am I kidding? I don't want to be happy remember? ArghhhhhHHH!!!!!

But I guess at the end of the say, the quote above says it all. Just need to chill and find my inspiration. Shun off all past emotions, and welcome in the new... Countdown to end of semester...